Ephesians 5:15-17
Based on an idea by Andy Stanley (JustAskIt.org)
What I want to share with you today is a message from a preacher named Andy Stanley. He is the pastor of North Point Church in Atlanta, Georgia. It is an enormous church of some forty thousand people, so God is truly using him in an amazing way for His kingdom. One of his messages is built around a single question. He even made a website for this question. The website is called www.justaskit.org, which means “just ask it.” Ask what? The question. I listened to this message, and I think it is good and important for our spiritual lives, so I want to share it with you.
The question Andy Stanley talks about is a universal question that answers almost everything — a single question meant to stand at the center of the process of making every important decision in our lives. It is a question that brings clarity even to the most difficult and complex situations we may find ourselves in. A question that will serve you too. It can be very personal, but it can spare us a great deal of time, a great deal of money, and a great many tears. If you go back over your life and remember the bitterest moment in it — the moment you have regretted most of all — if you remember that moment and apply this question to the situation, or to the season of your life that led you to that bitter moment, you would have avoided it, and it would never have led you to that moment of regret. What we have already learned so far should be enough to make us want to know what this question is. Do you want to know what this question is?
The passage that serves as the foundation for this question is Ephesians 5:15-17. The question is an application of the message we find in these verses. These are the words of the apostle Paul to the Ephesians. By the time he writes them he is already an apostle, but when he first steps onto the stage of history, he does so not as an apostle but as an enemy of Christianity. He is a Jewish leader who secures an order from the Jewish authorities of the day granting him the right to persecute, imprison, and kill Christians. The goal of his life was that within a few years this thing called Christianity would simply be wiped off the face of the earth and disappear. But he tells us his testimony in the book of Acts — how in a single day he was changed to such a degree that he turned from a man who hated the followers of Jesus without reservation into a follower of Jesus himself. From a persecutor he became a Christian leader. And this happened instantly — not over some period of time, not through some long process — but in a single day he turned from a persecutor of Christians into a Christian leader, from hunting Christians down to becoming a Christian himself. Saul, who now takes the name Paul, begins to run for his life and to be ready not only to suffer but even to be killed for the name of Christ. This change is so vast and so radical that we would say it is humanly impossible; it requires a miracle. And indeed that is what happened to Paul. He had a supernatural encounter with the risen Christ, and that encounter changed his life.
Now having become a Christian leader, the apostle Paul writes the passage from which we take our question. And if you are an unbeliever, you can decide whether or not to ask yourself this question; but if you are a believer, you are obligated to ask it. This is something God requires of us. And I think that once we have looked at these verses, you will understand why this question is so important.
Here is what happened. The apostle Paul writes this letter, called “The Letter to the Ephesians,” to churches he had founded in Asia Minor. It is addressed to the Ephesians, but like the Letter to the Colossians (Colossians 4:16) it was most likely read both in Ephesus and in other churches in the region. In this letter he tells the new believers how to live their lives as followers of Jesus. He tells them: “You are used to living in darkness, but now you are in the light. You are used to delighting in sin and treating others badly, but now you are followers of Jesus. You cannot keep lying to others and mistreating them. Now you must treat people not the way they treat you, but the way your Heavenly Father treats you through Christ. Listen, you must begin to live a different life.” And he speaks to them about the way they sin, about the way they treat one another. In everything he says he is extremely practical — he tells them exactly what to do. At the same time, however, the apostle realizes that what he is asking of these young Christians is hard for them to take in. He wants them to begin living a completely different way of life. But they live in a culture that is not a favorable environment for such a way of life. A culture that does not encourage the kind of transparency, honesty, forgiveness, morality, and even holiness that he requires of them. The apostle Paul realizes that what he is asking of them is extremely difficult, so in his argument he takes a step back and says to them — let me help you, let me give you some first steps to put into practice, a question to ask yourselves. And if you weigh every opportunity, every invitation, and every decision you make by looking at them through this simple framework, it will give you a running start, first steps to take so that you begin to live as someone who belongs to the kingdom of light and not to the kingdom of darkness.
So here is what the apostle Paul says (Ephesians 5:15):
Be very careful, then, how you live (Ephesians 5:15)
The word “live” means how you conduct yourself, or more precisely in Greek how you “walk” or how you “behave.” In Greek the phrase “be very careful” is a term connected with sight — “Watch where you walk!”, “Be careful where you step!” This term means “Look around you, do not be careless, be attentive!” It is as if you are walking somewhere and there are things on the ground you do not want to step on. In other words, the apostle Paul wants us to be extremely careful about the way we live our lives. He tells us: “As you walk through life, I want you to look ahead, behind, to the left, to the right, all around, up, down — be very careful. Do not be distracted or heedless about the way you behave, about the way you live your life.” This is like the signs they put at railway crossings: “Stop! Look, listen, and if no train is coming, cross.” It is one big “Caution!” sign that sharpens our attention and makes us careful. We must not be distracted and heedless about the way we behave and the way we live our lives.
Then the apostle Paul explains what he means — how exactly, how concretely this is to happen.
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise… (Ephesians 5:15)
In this verse the apostle Paul links the idea of carelessness with the idea of foolishness. Although the word “careless” is not in the text, if it were there, it would be tied to the word “unwise.” On the other hand, he puts an equals sign between the wise and the careful; that is, if you are wise, you will be careful. To be foolish is the opposite of being wise. To be unwise, or to put it plainly — foolish — is to do whatever you want, with whomever you want, whenever you want, and not to worry about the consequences of what you do. To be wise is to be careful about where you are going, where you are stepping. Think about where you have been, pay attention to what is going on around you at the moment, and be careful! Then the apostle Paul continues:
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. (Ephesians 5:15-16)
“Making the most of every opportunity” points to the openings that come to us in time. Opportunity is the favorable moment. In other words, the apostle Paul tells us: “Look, I want you to take advantage of every opportunity that presents itself to you. Or more precisely, I would like you to redeem the time you have at your disposal. Because our life on this earth is short. We have limited time. The greatest asset, the greatest advantage you have on your side, is time; therefore, I want you to be careful in the way you walk through life — to look ahead, behind, to the left and to the right. I want you to be wise and to use your time in the best possible way.” And notice why… “because the days are evil.” What does the apostle Paul mean when he says the days are evil? With these words he says to his friends in Ephesus, and to us as well: “If you simply get up and drift along with the current of the modern culture in which you live, you will end up in a place where you would not want to be. If you simply let yourself be carried along by the current of your culture in your relationships with the people around you, you will end up in a relationship with someone that you would not want to be in. If you let yourself be dragged along by the current of modern culture in financial matters, after a while you will look back and say, ‘But how did I end up here? I would not want to be here financially.’ When it comes to your relationships with your children, or with your husband or wife, or when it comes to your professional career — the apostle Paul says — the days we live in are like currents that pull and drag us into directions and places where we would not want to end up. Therefore… therefore, you cannot be careless, you cannot simply drift with the current, because the current will drag you somewhere you would not want to be. The days are evil, so you must live not as foolish but as wise, and make the most of every opportunity that God and life give you.”
Then the apostle Paul says something specific to Christians. If you are not a Christian, you may not do this, but here the apostle Paul is speaking directly to those who are followers of Christ, those who have received water baptism and have promised to follow Christ. And what he says is quite direct, and I would even say blunt:
Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. (Ephesians 5:17)
Unfortunately, we are always looking for loopholes in the law, in our thinking, through which we can slip. We know something is not right, but we say:
- “Yes, I know that’s how it is, but…”
- “I know she told me to do it, but…”
- “I know my parents say so, but…”
- “I know this isn’t right, but…”
We all look for loopholes, and we all have every kind of excuse for everything we do. But the apostle Paul, because he knows what people are like and how they think, tells us: “Do not be foolish! Instead, understand what the Lord’s will is.” The word “but” that Paul uses here is very strong; it expresses a very strong contrast. Do not be foolish, do not deceive yourselves, do not look for loopholes, do not look for ways to wriggle out of what you must do… I want you to understand, to grasp… To “understand” what God’s will is means to tell yourself the truth as it really is, to stand face to face with God’s will just as it is. In other words, the apostle Paul tells them: “You are Christians! You know! You know very well what you ought to do! You know the difference between right and wrong, between good and evil, between righteous and unrighteous, between holy and sinful. You know that if you do not live carefully, one wrong decision leads to the next wrong decision. You already know these things, so stop playing games, stop egging yourselves on toward things you should not be egging yourselves on toward, stop deceiving yourselves about things you should not be deceiving yourselves about. Stand face to face with God’s will just as it is! You can out-argue anyone, you can even fool yourself, but do not do it. I want you to stop and realize what God has for you, what God’s will for you is! And then I want you to do it — knowing what you ought to do, do it!”
That is the explanation of the verses, but the apostle Paul’s main thought is at the beginning of the passage.
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise… (Ephesians 5:15)
The indicator or criterion for whether a given decision is right is not what everyone else does, or what I did last time, or how I could somehow keep getting by in life. The indicator, the question that determines whether we are acting rightly, is “What is the wise thing for me to do?”
Let us all repeat it: “What is the wise thing for me to do?”
THE QUESTION IN THREE DIMENSIONS
Brother Andy Stanley helps us look at this question in three dimensions and make it very, very personal. Because we are all quite naive, and the person you can most easily deceive is yourself. Besides, the person who can most easily land in trouble is you. We have a saying that what a man does to himself, no one else can do to him. Very few of us, however, after landing in a terrible situation, tell ourselves, “I just don’t know how I ended up here.” The truth is that you know very well how you got there. And I will tell you how it happened. You made a series of foolish decisions that led you to a decision that was absolutely wrong. And when you made that wrong decision, you knew it was wrong, but even though you knew it was wrong, you made it because it was easy for you. And the reason it was easy is that before it you had made a series of foolish decisions, and as a result you had grown used to making such foolish decisions. You kept telling yourself, “It’s not that bad, it’s not illegal, everyone does it…” Someone warned you, but you managed to convince them you were right. Foolish decision, foolish decision, foolish decision — and in the end one enormous, terrible mess. So Paul tells us: “Let us grow up, let us be wise, let us ask ourselves one single question for every important decision, for every opportunity, for every invitation: What is the wise thing for me to do?”
THE DIMENSION OF OUR PAST
Let us look at this question in three dimensions. First, in relation to our past. “In light of the experience I have gathered in my past, what is the wise thing for me to do?”
Let us all say it: “In light of the experience I have gained in my past, what is the wise thing for me to do?”
Why do we speak of the past? Because your past is your past. It is not my past. And my past is my past, not your past. So what may be fine for you to do may not be fine for me because of my accumulated experience. For example, for someone who has never drunk and has never been addicted to alcohol, it may be fine to have one glass of beer, and it will not harm him or make him an alcoholic; but for someone who has been an alcoholic and has been addicted to alcohol, if he drinks that one glass of beer, he cannot stop, and it may drag him back into the bondage of the vice of alcoholism. That is why everyone must weigh the situation according to the experience he has accumulated in his past. You can ask yourself the question: What happened the last time I did what I am now planning to do again? What happened last time? Do you know why history starts repeating itself for you when it comes to your finances and your relationships? Because you do not ask yourself this question. And for some reason you think that you can do again the same thing you did before but somehow get different results — you are deeply deceiving yourself. And I know why you think so. Because we are all human, because you are inclined to believe the same thing I am inclined to believe and that we are all inclined to believe. And that is that we think we can manage the consequences of our actions. This is the deception of sin with which Satan has been lying to us from the very beginning. You tell yourself, “I can handle this. I know it didn’t work before, but this time it will.” But Paul tells us: “Come on, you fool! Ask yourself the question! In light of my accumulated experience, what is the wise thing for me to do?”
We hate this question. And do you know why? Because what was a little hazy, a little unclear, a “…yes, but…”, “…yes, but…” before we asked it — the moment we ask this question the curtain suddenly drops, the fog lifts, the clouds scatter, and suddenly we begin to see things as they really are. This question gives us light.
In light of the experience you have gained in your past, what is the wisest thing for you to do now? If you want history to stop repeating itself for you — financially, in your relationships, and in every respect — ask yourself the question. In light of the experience I have gained in my past, in light of what I have suffered, in light of what I have gained as positive and negative experience, what is the wise thing for me to do?
THE DIMENSION OF OUR PRESENT
The second dimension of the question is similar to the first, only it is connected not with the past but with the present: “In light of my present circumstances, what is the wisest thing for me to do?”
Let us all say it: “In light of my present circumstances, what is the wisest thing for me to do?”
For example, if you have just gotten married. Things are different from what they were before. In light of your present situation — what is the wise thing for you to do? I know that before, you used to go out and always take your friends into account. That was not wrong for you back then. But in light of your present circumstances — what is the wise thing for you to do? Whom should you now take into account — your friends or your wife?
Or perhaps you have just been through a difficult divorce. And you are ready to start your life over with someone else. And maybe you think you have already met that person. In light of your present vulnerability, in light of where you are emotionally right now, what is the wise thing for you to do? Not forever, not for everyone else, but for you?
Or perhaps you are starting a new school year. And last year you did not have good enough results. And now you need to start well, to have a strong start with your grades at the beginning of the year. But all your friends have decided to take a couple of days off and go on a trip. Is there anything wrong with taking a break and going on a trip? No, maybe you have done it before and will do it in the future. But in light of your present circumstances, what is the wise thing for you to do?
Or perhaps you have just started a new job, or a child has just been born to you… Whatever it may be… Whatever situation you are in in life, you must ask yourself the question of whether what you are doing is wise. Not whether the given thing is right or wrong, not whether it is legal or illegal, not whether everyone does it or not. But in light of your present circumstances, in light of what is going on right now with you — financially, with your friends… maybe you are trying to climb out of financial debt, or you have moved to a new town or neighborhood… Whatever your situation may be — in light of what is happening with you right now, what is the wise thing for you to do?
When we ask ourselves this question — does it not bring an unusual, even uncomfortable clarity? It turns out that we know what we ought to do and yet we do not do it…
THE DIMENSION OF OUR FUTURE
And finally, perhaps the most powerful and dynamic aspect of all is the aspect of our future. In light of my future plans and hopes, what is the wise thing for me to do?
Are you ready to say it together with me? “In light of my future plans and hopes, what is the wise thing for me to do?”
How sad it is to trade something we have for something we want to have now, but which, if we have it now, takes away from us what we could have in the future. What a foolish decision it is to sell off a wonderful relationship we could have in the future for a relationship we can have now but which we already know will not last into the future. It is always a foolish idea to trade what we could have in the future for something we want to have now but will not want to keep going forward. This future dimension of the question alone has the potential to change the trajectory of our entire life. Because if we make wise decisions, our life will be one thing, and if we refuse to act wisely with regard to the future, our life will be another. “In light of my future plans and hopes, what is the wise thing for me to do now?” And the problem for some of you is that you are in the company of people who have no future plans and hopes. This is especially true of children and young people. When you are a child, when you are a young person, you choose your environment. And that environment will shape you, and it will affect not only you but the people around you. Perhaps your friends live only for the present; for them there is only now, they do not think about the future. Perhaps they can only think one month ahead — to the day they get their paycheck. When will the next movie come out? When will the next album come out? When will the next game come out? But you must have plans and hopes for the future. And the worst thing you can do is to let the people around you rob your future by locking you in the trap of the present to such a degree that you stop thinking about your future. There is nothing wrong with anything you do, but why sell your future for something that is only temporary and passing, for something or someone who will not be with you in the future? This is a better question than what is right or what is legal. The question is: “In light of your future plans and hopes, what is the wise thing for you to do?” In light of where you want to be one day, what is wise — not for everyone else, because they do not share your plans and hopes — what is the wise thing for you to do? Do you want to finish your life a certain way in the future? That should be decisive for what you do today. Do you want to finish your life with a better job and better pay than the job and pay of the people around you — even your parents? That determines how you should act today. Do you want to be free of debt and to have financial security in the future? That determines what you should do today.
In light of my future plans and hopes… Not in light of what I could just get by with… Would you not wish you had been asking yourself this question all your life? If only we had been asking it, if only we had acted according to the wisdom it brings into our lives? Would we not be in a better position socially, financially, and even emotionally, if we had been asking ourselves this question and acting in accordance with the answer it helps us give ourselves?
We must have foresight. Often a personal vision of the future is a catalyst for making wise decisions in the present. A catalyst is something that speeds up a given process. That is why New Year’s resolutions are a good idea. That is why having specific goals is a good idea. That is why writing them down is a good idea. That is why putting them somewhere you can see them and remind yourself of them every day is a good idea. So that you may fasten your heart to the place and the condition God has for you in the future. Because making decisions today on the basis of the future we want to have is a wise thing.
Now we will put together these three aspects — the past, the present, and the future — and here is what our question looks like in this light. Here is what the single question we are talking about looks like — the one question that is universal for every situation, in its three-dimensional form — in light of our past, present, and future it sounds like this: “In light of the experience I have gained in my past, in light of my present circumstances, and in light of my future plans and hopes, what is the wise thing for me to do?” Let us all say it: “In light of the experience I have gained in my past, in light of my present circumstances, and in light of my future plans and hopes, what is the wise thing for me to do now?”
Look, no one plans to fail — no one. The problem is that people simply do not plan not to fail. Our problem is not that we plan to ruin our lives, but that we do not plan what to do so as not to ruin our lives. This question we are talking about today is precious, because it helps us plan how not to mess up our lives. No one gets married intending to divorce. No one plans to wreck his life. People simply do not plan for these bad things not to happen. But this question we are talking about today helps us plan how to keep the things we do not want to happen from happening. It is a question we can ask not only personally but also as a family. Dear, children, in light of the experience we already have from the past, in light of our present circumstances, and in light of our future plans and hopes — what is the wise thing for us to do? Ask yourselves this question — and you will know. This question brings a painful clarity. It helps us be clear about things. Ask yourselves this question again and again and again, and you will shed fewer tears, have fewer regrets, and your relationships and your finances will be fully protected. Then we will function the way our Heavenly Father wants us to function.
THE HOMEWORK
Here is your homework. I know we do not usually give people homework in church, but this one is really easy. You do not have to change anything, so do not panic. Your homework is simply to ask the question “What is the wise thing for me to do?” Ask it! That is it. This coming week, I do not want you to do anything different. I do not want you to make wise decisions — unless you are especially diligent and want to be a straight-A student. What I want is for you to ask the question, so that you can see what it would be like if you acted wisely. That is all. Some of you are already thinking, “But I know where all this is going. I know where you’re leading me!” But I do not want you to take real steps and end relationships — romantic, financial, or any other kind. Do not do anything. All I want from you is to begin forming a new habit. For every invitation, for every opportunity, for every decision you have to make, ask yourself the question: “What is the wise thing for me to do?” Ask yourself this question, because look at what I know about you. You owe it to yourself to know the answer to this question. Whether or not you act on that answer, you owe it to yourself to know the answer. When we ask this question, we instantly learn something about ourselves. For example, teenagers, if you ask yourself this question, here is what will happen. The answer to this question will sound all too familiar — it will sound too close to what mom and dad have already been telling you that you ought to do. But teenagers, do not panic. I am not telling you to do what your parents tell you to do. Just consider — what are you learning? You are not going to go and tell them that the answer to this question sounds like their instructions. You are simply going to learn something about yourself.
Husbands, if you ask yourself this question, you may find that the answer sounds all too familiar — it sounds like what my wife tells me I ought to do. You will not tell her, but what does that say to you?
And wives, if you begin to ask yourself this question — what is the wise thing for me to do? — and the answer begins to sound like something your husband tells you to do, that is a miracle!
If something in you resists this idea, you are learning something about yourself. And I will tell you what it is. And it may not be very pleasant, but I have to say it. If something in you says, “I am not going to ask myself this silly question. I am not going to do any of what you are telling me,” let me tell you what it is that you are learning about yourself. What you are learning about yourself is that you do not take into account what is in your own best interest. If you do not think about what is best for you, then who will think about what is best for you? If the text we reflected on today is God’s Word, then perhaps God knows what is best for you when you do not. And if you do not take into account what is best for you, then perhaps one day you will end up in a place where you do not want to be. If you do not ask this question, you will make foolish decisions and you will fail — not because you planned to fail, but because you did not plan not to fail. And this question is the way you plan not to fail. Do you not owe it to yourself? So start asking. Start asking yourself the question: “In light of the experience I have gained in my past, in light of my present circumstances, and in light of my future plans and hopes, what is the wise thing for me to do?”