James 3:13–18
13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. 17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. (James 3:13–18)
Every day we run into all kinds of people. Some are very pleasant; others are very difficult. Some are charming and inspire us toward good; others irritate us and drag us down. And when we are not getting along with those around us, our relationships are strained and we feel miserable. Even if we have plenty of money and plenty of opportunities, if our relationships are not right, we are unhappy. That is exactly why we need to learn how to treat the people around us wisely. In these verses we can see the practical counsel this letter gives us on this very matter. Let’s begin at the end and work backward. In verse 18 James says:
18 Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. (James 3:18)
SEEDS OF PEACE PRODUCE A HARVEST OF GOODNESS
Every day, in our relationships, we are sowing seeds. Seeds of anger, jealousy, peace, confidence, insecurity, and many other kinds of seeds. And so it is inevitable that we will reap what we have sown. In another rendering this verse reads: “And those who are peacemakers will sow seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness.” How can I sow seeds of peace? How can I be a peacemaker? How can I have good relationships? The secret lies in heavenly wisdom. We have to learn to be wise in the way we act toward others. When we behave foolishly, we provoke exactly the opposite of the behavior we would like to see.
In this passage (3:13–18) James does three things: first, he defines heavenly wisdom; then he shows how it differs from wisdom that is earthly and demonic; and finally he describes in detail how it works.
WISDOM SHAPES THE WAY WE LIVE
The first thing we understand about wisdom is that it is not a matter of intelligence, cleverness, or education, but a matter of the way we live, of our relationships and our character (v.13).
13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. (James 3:13)
In other words, if you are wise and you understand the ways of God, then live such a pleasing life that its results are nothing but good. And if you do not boast about the good you do, but simply do it without making a great fuss about yourself, then you will truly be wise!
Imagine James walking into our church this morning and asking, “Who among you is wise and understanding? Let me see the hands of those who are wise.” If you are naive enough to raise your hand, he will say to you, “Fine, prove to me that you are wise! Show me your wisdom by the way you live! Is it good? What are your relationships with other people like? Are you gentle? Do you have the fear of God?”
What matters is not what you say with your lips, but how you live your life. Wisdom is not a matter of words but of deeds. The diplomas you hold count for nothing. How you treat other people — that, and that alone, shows how wise you really are in practice.
THE LACK OF HEAVENLY WISDOM CREATES PROBLEMS
Knowledge puffs up; wisdom humbles. If your life is full of chaos and conflict, it is because of a shortage of heavenly wisdom (vv.14–16).
14 But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15 Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. (James 3:14–16)
The lack of wisdom causes every kind of disorder and trouble, chaos and confusion.
THE MARKS OF WISE PEOPLE
How can I know whether I am wise in my relationships with others? Let’s read verse 17:
17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. (James 3:17)
Here James gives us a list of seven descriptions of God’s wisdom. This list of virtues can quite naturally be compared to the “fruit of the Spirit” in Galatians 5. When we look at each of these descriptions on its own, we see that they are all good and not all that hard to attain. They are all possible and achievable. But in the end everything depends on our heart and our will to do good and to please God.
the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure (James 3:17)
IF I WANT TO BE WISE, I WILL BE HONEST AND WILL NOT COMPROMISE THE TRUTH
The wisdom that comes from heaven is, before anything else, “pure” (“hagnos”). Pure means holy, innocent, uncorrupted, unadulterated, blameless. In 1 John 3:3 this word is used of the Lord Jesus Christ.
3 All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure. (1 John 3:3)
If I want to be genuinely true, if I want to be wise, I will not lie, I will not cheat, I will not manipulate the truth. I will be an honest person, because all relationships are built on the foundation of trust and respect. If you are dishonest, who will trust you? Who will respect you? We must be honest!
Dr. Leonard Keeler, the man who invented the lie detector, tested 25,000 people and came to the conclusion that most people are dishonest. Proverbs 10:9 says:
9 Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out. (Proverbs 10:9)
The person of integrity sows security into his life. He is not afraid of being caught in wrongdoing, because he does not say one thing to one person and something else to another. Someone has said: “No one has a good enough memory to be a flawless liar. Sooner or later every deceiver slips up.”
the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving (James 3:17)
IF I WANT TO BE WISE, I WILL NOT IRRITATE YOU OR PROVOKE YOUR ANGER
Wise people work hard to keep harmony and peace in their relationships. They always try to avoid conflicts and quarrels. Wisdom is “peace-loving” (“eirenikos”). Proverbs 20:3 says:
3 It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. (Proverbs 20:3)
Do you know what causes quarrels? If you are wise, you do, because if you did not, how could you ever avoid them? There are three things that provoke arguments:
Comparing — Look at what so-and-so’s husband does, and look at you! Do you know what I was like at your age? You’re just like… Why can’t you be like your brother… And why can’t you cook the way your mother does…
When we use words like these, we are on our way to a fight. In 2 Corinthians 10:12 we are told that comparing is unwise.
12 We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise. (2 Corinthians 10:12)
We are not to compare ourselves with one another, but with the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the model we want to imitate.
Blaming — You’re the one to blame… Aren’t you ashamed of yourself? Is it always going to be my fault? You always… You never… You should have… You shouldn’t have…
Someone has said: “With many small digs, you can bury your marriage.”
Nitpicking — this is typical of most families. The husband starts to tell a story, and his wife starts correcting him…
Do you enjoy being interrupted in the middle of a sentence? It is irritating. One of the secrets of wisdom is knowing what to stop over and what to let pass. Some things are simply not worth arguing about. Love is peace-loving. Proverbs 14:29 says:
29 Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly. (Proverbs 14:29)
How many of you have ever said or done something foolish in your anger? Anger opens the door to mistakes. That is why we must avoid it.
pure, peace-loving, considerate (James 3:17)
IF I WANT TO BE WISE, I WILL NOT BELITTLE YOUR FEELINGS, BUT WILL RESPECT THEM
The gentleness of a wise person is seen in that he does not rush to conclusions — he is ready to do everything he can to gather all the necessary facts on a matter before he gives his opinion. How many times are healthy relationships destroyed simply because someone jumps to conclusions on a matter and pins a “label” on a person. When we lack this considerateness, we react with anger and bitterness even before we know all the facts. Instead of waiting for all the needed information to be gathered and weighed, we leap in with our conclusions and say them out loud so that we can be sure they are heard.
Wisdom is “considerate” (“epieikes”). Considerate means attentive, gentle, kind, respecting the feelings of others. To be considerate means not to abuse the strength and power we have. I may not accept your feelings, but I must understand them and be careful not to hurt you. Proverbs 15:4 says:
4 The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit. (Proverbs 15:4)
Usually, when we react to the emotions of the person next to us, we say things that wound them. But considerateness is strength placed under the control of love. And love “is not self-seeking”… (1 Corinthians 13:5)
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (1 Corinthians 13:5)
pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive (James 3:17)
IF I WANT TO BE WISE, I WILL NOT CRITICIZE YOUR SUGGESTIONS AND DECISIONS, BUT WILL BE OPEN AND, IF THEY ARE GOOD, WILL ACCEPT THEM
A wise person can learn something from everyone. He does not insist only on his own way — he is open to reason and to discussion, he is not stubborn, he is ready to listen and to learn.
Wisdom is “submissive” (“eupeithes”). This word is used only once in the New Testament. It means that the wise person is “ready to listen, willing to be open to new ideas and suggestions.” Are you a tolerant person? According to James, if you are wise, you will be tolerant and open to change. The unyielding person says: “Don’t try to change my mind. I’ve already decided. That’s how it’s going to be.” Or: “That’s none of your business; you shouldn’t even be thinking about it.”
Do not always take up a defensive posture. Most of us are far too sensitive. If someone makes a suggestion, we take it as a personal criticism and start to defend our own way. James says that this is foolish. A wise person could find something valuable in every suggestion. Proverbs 12:15 says:
15 The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice. (Proverbs 12:15)
If what you are being told is true, then hear it and correct yourself. If it is not true, let it go and forget it.
pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit (James 3:17)
A wise person does not compromise the truth, does not irritate the people around him, does not belittle their feelings, does not criticize their suggestions, and is ready to forgive.
IF I WANT TO BE WISE, I WILL NOT THROW YOUR FAILURES AND MISTAKES BACK IN YOUR FACE, BUT WILL FORGET THEM
When someone makes a mistake, do you immediately pounce on them with the words, “See what you’re like!”? Do the people in your family become the target of your mockery? That is foolish. Wisdom is full of mercy; it would not underline the mistakes of others. Do you forgive others, or do you keep them bound through your unforgiveness? Do you hold a grudge against them, or are you generous toward them? If you are wise, you will not constantly remember their mistakes and keep repeating them. To be full of mercy means to give people what they need, not what they deserve. Proverbs 17:9 says:
9 Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. (Proverbs 17:9)
If you are wise, you will not rub it in — you will wipe it away. When someone stumbles, you will not judge them, but will encourage them to keep going. Is that what you are like at home? If we want to be wise, we will not underline the mistakes of others. James 2:13 says:
Mercy triumphs over judgment. (James 2:13)
Sometimes we think that wisdom consists in everyone around us getting exactly what they deserve. But “the wisdom that comes from heaven” gives people more than they deserve.
Once a mother came before Napoleon to beg mercy for her son. The emperor told her that the young man had already committed the same crime twice, and the just sentence for this second offense was death. “But I am not asking for justice,” said the mother, “I am pleading for mercy.” “But your son does not deserve mercy!” Napoleon replied. “But, Your Majesty,” the woman cried, “it would not be mercy if he deserved it, and what I am asking for is mercy!” “Very well, then,” said the emperor, “I will show him mercy.” And so he spared the woman’s son.
pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere (James 3:17)
James says that if you are wise, you will not compromise the truth, you will not irritate the people around you, you will not belittle their feelings, you will not be stubborn, and you will not underline their mistakes.
IF I WANT TO BE WISE, I WILL NOT PRETEND TO BE SOMETHING I AM NOT, AND I WILL NOT HIDE MY WEAKNESSES
One of the marks of a wise person is that he does not put on an act and does not hide his weaknesses. Wisdom is “impartial” (“adiakritos” — having no partiality within it) and “sincere” (“anupokritos”). This means that wisdom is straightforward, impartial, and genuine. It is not swayed by important people, and it does not talk behind others’ backs.
In the Greek theater it often happened that only two or three actors performed an entire play. They held masks in front of their faces and so could switch roles very quickly. In this way one man could have five or six different masks or parts. Such an actor was called a hypocrite. But James says that if you are wise, in your life you will not be a hypocrite — you will not wear masks and try to be something you are not. Nor should you be so shallow that you let a person’s mask keep you from seeing the person himself.
If you are perfect, then this church is not for you. It is for real people with real sins and real problems. Real people are honest and open. They are not fake. When you deal with a wise person, “you get what you see.” He does not pretend to be perfect; he is not a counterfeit.
In Bulgaria we have this habit of putting our pastors on a pedestal. We treat them as though we are paying them to be perfect, and if they are not, we are disappointed with them. But is anyone perfect? And if I am not perfect, why should I pretend that I am? I do not want to be a pastor set up on a pedestal. Proverbs 28:13 says:
13 Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy. (Proverbs 28:13)
When you begin to tell people what your weaknesses are, they will not be surprised, because they already know them. Everyone knows your weaknesses. You are the only one who will not admit them. We see one another’s weaknesses all the time. Why do we pretend that this is not so? It is so. Everyone knows it. But we are unwilling to admit it. God, however, values honesty. And when we are honest with others, it helps them to begin to be honest with us too. Because perhaps they are struggling with the very same problem we are.
the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. (James 3:17)
How do you rate yourself on this test of wisdom?
- Do you compromise your honesty? Do you manipulate people to reach your own goals?
- Do you constantly try to correct the person next to you? You know that if you say something, you will “step on the cat’s tail,” but you say it anyway… James says that this is foolish, not wise.
- Do you disregard the feelings of others?
- Are you stubborn, or are you ready to accept reasonable suggestions and advice? Can your children change your plans or the way you do things?
- Do you hold grudges? Do you throw the mistakes of others back in their faces?
- Is a person’s outward appearance more important to you than their heart? Do you pretend to be something you are not? If so, then we need to change!
HOW CAN I BECOME WISE?
How can I become one of those people who are wise in their relationships, so that I can have their peace? Can I simply decide, “From today I will be wise,” and there it is? No. This is the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is gained through reading and education; wisdom comes from God. To gain knowledge, you must look around; to gain wisdom, you must look up. Knowledge comes from reasoning; wisdom comes from revelation. Knowledge is something you can earn; wisdom is a gift. James 1:5 says:
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (James 1:5)
If you want God’s wisdom, receive Christ into your life. It is all found in one person — Jesus Christ. In Him “are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Colossians 2:3). If you want to be wise, invite Him into your life. Say to Him: “Christ, think Your thoughts through my mind; speak Your words through my mouth; help people through my hands; love people through my heart!”
The wisest thing I have ever done is to give my life to Jesus Christ. When, day after day, you receive God’s wisdom into your life, when you give Him more and more room in your life as you develop your character, you will discover that your relationships with people become better and better. If you want to be wise, then the first step you must take is to invite Jesus Christ into your life.